Oct 5th 2010

Dear Mom, Sorry this is written on tiny paper. Im writing this bit by bit. We dont get enough time at night. So I have to write whenever I'm in class. Right now we are in our radio class. I wont have time to write an update and a personal letter too, so I'll combine it. You can post this letter as an update. I didnt have a chance to write yesterday. Today is my 5th day in Basic and my 5th week away from friends and family. It seems like years! As the days go by it gets easier and harder. I have adapted to this lifestyle but I still miss my loved ones. Everyday is a constant struggle to continue moving forward. Civilians dont understand what we are put thru on a daily basis. Each and everyday our body is pushed byond its limit. You're running on minimal sleep and food. Everything you do is fast paced and high intensity. You have these men yelling in your face everytime you make a mistake, on top of all that you cant help but to think and wonder about what your best friend is doing, if your family is ok, or if anyone even cares that you're gone.These things eat away at you. Its even worse when you have unsolved problems back home. I knew that I was strong but I had know idea that I was this strong! Im being trained to kill other human beings. Its a very scary feeling. Especially knowing that I joined so that I could go to college, become an Rn and help other human beings..But I'm here training to kill.
 Its all so scary to see how far I can really push myself. Other than Parris Island, this is the toughest Basic Training location in the United States. Im here going thru it all. A guy who would rather sit around and smoke cigarettes than walk down the street. Sorry that this entry has been a little emotional. Its beeen one of those days. The Movie Full Metal Jacket, refers to something called the 10 mile stare. Its the look in someones eyes that develops over time from seeing combat in real life. My DS.says that most of us will develop that stare by graduation. Anyway I'll try and end this on a happy note. We got our weapons a few days ago. We spent all day on using radios. Tomorrow we have the gas chamber class and Thursday we go to the actual gas chamber. So far today we havent got smoked. Hopefully that doesnt change. Im gonna try and see the Chaplin tomorrow. I must have prayed 20 times! I miss my family and I miss Kaili. I miss alot of things. But Im focused and determined!! I'll be done soon!
    I love you Guys,
   PV2 Fonville
I promise to write a long update tomorrow..Hopefully:)